Although anxiety may feel like an unpleasant experience, it is not always problematic. Often, it is an “alert system piece” that helps us become aware of and address risky situations. Think crossing the street while texting and NOT feeling anxious about being hit by a car! The anxiety we naturally experience helps us make sure we look where we are going and avoid a disaster.
However, when anxiety begins to limit our ability to engage with our everyday tasks and it impacts our self-esteem and confidence, it becomes a challenge that needs addressing.
Intrusive anxious feelings that negatively impact our life, often originate from our childlike parts and/or traumatic experiences. These aspects of us are frequently stuck in the past, at a time when we felt threatened and did not have the tools to address the situation, other than feel fear and anxiety.
Anxiety may be linked to low trust in the Self and others, causing us to constantly second guess ourselves. It is often associated with judgmental and critical parts, triggering distress, and frequently condemning us for our actions as well as feelings.
Exploring our anxious part
What if, instead of finding fault with the anxious part and trying to get rid of it or suppress it and avoid it, we welcome that part of ourselves with curiosity and empathy?
We can then take the opportunity to learn about the fear, uncertainty, or mistrust that is associated with our anxious emotions, coming to understand more about ourselves, and develop healthy ways to heal. Internal Family Systems (IFS) holds this experience as a core element of its approach.
By accepting the parts of ourselves that we may be tempted to push away, we are allowing our beliefs and emotions to be better understood and validated, and we can better heal our old wounds and move forward in an adaptive way.
The reality is that throughout life, there will be times when the anxious parts will surface as we face challenges. However, by adequately relating to these parts, we are able to cope with them compassionately and effectively, helping mitigate their negative impact on our lives.
Working With the IFS Lens
Exploring our anxiety as a part of ourselves with an open mindset provides the opportunity to help us heal and learn to cope with our anxiety.
These steps take us on a journey that identifies our deeper feelings and triggers, helping us find ways to address them and reframe their role in the present.
This process encourages us to take ownership of our healing journey and become our best advocate and supporter, as we lead from a position of authenticity, rather than fear and reactivity.
