Lonely in a Crowd: Overcoming Social Anxiety
We are social creatures and are hardwired with the need to relate to others. Yet some of us feel isolated despite being surrounded by people. We may struggle to belong even when we are in the company of friendly and familiar faces. This is the world of social anxiety – where a deep sense of discomfort and detachment characterizes almost every social interaction The heart of it: At the heart of social anxiety is an unwillingness to express our emotions. Fears of vulnerability or rejection discourage us from entrusting our feelings to other people. This can be especially true if […]
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Driven to Success: a Blessing or Not?
Some people are natural-born leaders. As a result, they see something that needs to be done and seize the chance to head it up. If there is a problem, they point it out and fix it. They often love to work, and their sense of perfectionism renders them unwilling to leave a job half done. They are driven to succeed. Being motivated to succeed is a great attribute. Moreover, the world needs strong and charismatic leaders, problem solvers, and hard workers. They can be a real blessing. Or not… Motivation to succeed becomes unhealthy with the: Belief that worthiness needs […]
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Working in bed: Productive by day, sleepless at night
COVID has blended the work and home space. The morning commute is a quick walk across the hall, bedrooms are offices, living rooms are conference rooms and kitchens are the cafeteria or “water cooler” areas. It is tempting to bring our laptops into bed with us, as we spend many hours among blankets and pillows, where we feel most comfortable. These new working arrangements disrupt our routines and affect our psychological balance. Researchers have found that since the onset of COVID the rates of insomnia, generally defined as trouble falling or staying asleep, have greatly risen. What’s so disruptive about […]
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When Self-control is Too Much of a Good Thing
In the picture below most people will see a face in the random placement of the rocks while disregarding the rest of the structure. We tend to seek patterns and carve out order from random situations and may ignore parts that don’t fit into a pattern. Similarly, we may tend to ignore or explain away these features of ourselves that don’t fit our self-concept. We often have a hard time acknowledging the entirety of who we are, negating parts of ourselves which could be helpful in teaching us something new about us. As writer Anais Nin wisely stated: “We don’t […]
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Sleepless in the Land of COVID
COVID-19 has turned everything upside down. For several months we have been limited to “zooming” with family members, grocery shopping with gloves and masks, juggling childcare with working from home and cooking all our meals with no dining out. Some have been separated from loved ones, have lost their jobs or have had to grieve losses of friends and family members. As this new reality stretches endlessly before us, we worry: What is the next step? When do I get to go back to normal? Is it safe? Will I have a job? Is my child’s day care safe? Will […]
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Loving Too Much
Relationships are so complex: they can be most wonderful or can cause so much emotional pain. Sometimes we even equate our pain to true love and measure the level of our love by the intensity of our pain. What is loving too much? While there is no one-size-fits-all description, generally loving too much involves consistently abandoning our own needs and identity to accommodate another person’s wants and needs. How do I know? Here are 7 signs to get you thinking whether you might be in a relationship where you love too much: You place the needs of the other ahead […]
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